now i know why i became what i already was.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
