I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
