I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
