On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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