I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
