sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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