Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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