He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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