Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
