I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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