my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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