Little spoons don't ask big questions
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
