the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
