Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
