Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
