Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i will never coherently bang her
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
