Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
