I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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