There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
