Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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