she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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