Girls should come with a carfax report
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
