billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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