And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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