I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
