Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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