im drinking this country out of the recession.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
