My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
