I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
