me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
