In the future we'll all be gay
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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