I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
