glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
