RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
