I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
