Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
