; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
