Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
