And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
