So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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