And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
