I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
that's an acceptable place to lick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
