Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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