She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
