I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
