That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Shame - the story of my life.
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