just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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