There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
