New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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