It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
