I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
