the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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