reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
