Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
